What the heck kind of question is that!?… “Are you giving it up?!”

You’re thinking, “That. Is. None. Of. Your. Business!”

What I’m really asking is what are you giving your life to? I’ve noticed many times I have personally given my life to being productive, being successful, being better, being financially secure, being some place other than right here right now.

I’m not suggesting that any of this is “bad.” I’ve tried  hard to “get there” with all of it. It’s great to have vision, to dream and to strive to be better each day. The problem for many of us is our identity becomes what we have, what we think and where we are headed. We aren’t clear on who we really are. We get involved in this constant search for more which is never satisfied and leaves us feeling empty. What I have learned is the harder I try the worse things get. The more I exert myself and grab on to things or try to make things happen, the more distant those things become. It wasn’t until I made the decision to give up completely that things began to turn around for me.

This doesn’t make sense when you try to figure it out with the same mindset that believes productivity is the way to “get there.” If you’re like me, you learn it when you burn out, come to the end of your rope and have no options left and nowhere left to turn. Then, giving up becomes a given. We come to a place where we throw our hands up or fall to our knees and speak to some unknown (or known) Being out of sheer exhaustion and defeat. When we get there we all sound pretty much the same…”Oh my God. You have got to help me. I cannot go on like this for one more second.”

Instantly, without even trying, that moment becomes the most effective (and freeing) moment in our lives and we’ve done nothing but give up completely.

The Universe, God, (whatever) is waiting for us to let go completely in order to do something with our life…the life we’ve had a grip on for awhile.

Kristen Sheehan, MBA
Happiness and Fulfillment Coach and Mentor
Living Joy, LLC.

We work so hard to be “someone.” When we get there, we’re not totally satisfied. We have this ache for more. There’s always more to do, better vacations to go on, bigger trucks to buy, more employees to hire, more attention to be had, more people to reach, better jobs/titles to gain, more money to be made, better houses to live in, more people to compare ourselves to and get ahead of. (Some take the easy route and put others down to feel like they have gotten ahead).

We’re in this playground of jealousy and competition, playing at ever increasing speeds. It is exhausting and we all breakdown in it, yet we continue to play here because we don’t know our worth. In the playground, we believe we are living the dream, following our calling to “be more and do more” when we are really just attempting to gain our worth from sources outside of ourselves. We determine our worth by the opinions, appreciation and attention from others. (Facebook is one example of how we display ourselves…myself included!). We depend on it. When we don’t get it, we work harder. We never leave the playground…even though we don’t really like it.

Pete Wilson, in his book Empty Promises talks about the new addiction of “public productivity,” the “built-in longings for worth, significance, acceptance, love and beauty,” and how we have all become “quickaholics” — addicted to wanting what we want, NOW.

He also goes on to say, “You are more than your giftedness. You are more than the title on your office door or the company on your business card. You’re more than what your home looks like or how your kids act. You’re more than what you accomplished last week or last month — more than anything you could accomplish in a lifetime.” - Pete Wilson, Empty Promises.

Do you believe you are more than these things? Do you confuse being called to “do more and be more” with “you are not enough right now?” http://www.livingjoytoday.com/living-joy-live-tour/

Kristen Sheehan
Living Joy, LLC

Inner peace comes partly from living life honestly and according to what you believe is God’s will for you. Do not live to “impress” other people. There is nothing you can do about what other people think of you. No matter what, people will always have their opinions about you. Live your life honestly, with integrity and for a higher purpose. Observe yourself. Check in with yourself often to be sure you are living YOUR life and not the life YOU think will impress others.

Kristen Sheehan
Living Joy, LLC
Teaching women who suffer from lack of inner peace how to connect to their identity, purpose and joy so that they can live peacefully, regardless of what is going on around them.

One of the most wonderful things in my life is that I am privileged to have people share their struggles with me. It is an honor to enter into these intimate and trusting conversations with people. I’m not certain of many things but I do know this…we are all way more alike than we are different. As a Mindset and Personal Empowerment coach, people often contact me with concerns, frustrations and questions about their “next steps.” Daily, people call, text, email and instant message me to tell me how they are stuck and ask what they are supposed to do about it. My joy increases every time I help people realize the answers they seek are so close…literally right inside of them. My job is to help them get unblocked.

Today I had someone who is unemployed reach out to me. She was telling me how she had gone to school for a particular profession decades ago but after some time in the field, she realized she absolutely hated what she was doing. She then got into something completely different. She became self-employed, was enjoying what she was doing and was somewhat successful, but it became difficult to find consistent work. She then began working random jobs here and there and has felt unfulfilled, lost, passionless and without purpose ever since. Most recently, she became unemployed again. Career testing and counseling has not really helped her figure it out. Going back to school for something else seems doable but she is not sure what she wants to go back for so she does not want to spend money that she needs to be careful with.  Can you relate???

As a matter of fact, this same topic has been coming to me A LOT lately so I wanted to make sure I shared this with anyone who is having difficulty finding joy when you are feeling lost, confused, passionless, purposeless, and unemployed..

First and foremost, I PROMISE YOU, your true self and the life you were MEANT TO LIVE is NOT FAR AWAY. Actually, it already exists…it just takes a little digging to get there. Second, you are not alone. I know this because of my own personal experience, plus the many people who contact me about this subject and the millions of self help books that are written to ease this pain. (One good book that I am reading right now is Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck. You can pick it up for less that $15. Another great book on this topic (that I’ve already read) is Jigsaw by Mike Hall – also under $15 — written for youth experiencing similar feelings. When you consider the amount of time and money you have spent trying to figure this all out yourself all of these years $15, even in a time of financial hardship, isn’t too much to spend).

You have been created to be more and to do more than what you have experienced thus far. You are literally being called to a much greater existence and you know it. You know it because if you did not know it, you wouldn’t feel the push away from your old life and the pull from the life you don’t even know yet. You’re stuck in the middle…in faith — that space between the way things were and the good things that are headed your way.

Don’t give up. I’m here to tell you the answer is never to give up and never to go backwards. The answer is always to move forward. All you need to figure it out is right inside of you. I promise you that. Don’t sit in sadness and lack. Begin to get excited about the unknown. Find ways to literally raise your vibrational energy levels so that you can begin to attract into your life all that you need to help you get to the next level. Be aware of the help the universe, God or your higher self is sending you. Look for it. What you focus on, you will see.

Living Joy,

Kristen Sheehan, MBA

Life will never be free of challenges but we can live without struggling. It takes a new perspective, acceptance and the willingness to face life head on.

In his book The Road Less Traveled, Dr. M. Scott Peck tells us that “life is difficult” and “once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult.”

Difficulty comes from resistance and the lack of the ability to accept what is. We struggle because we fail to realize that life was never meant to be happy all of the time. Life, by its very nature, has its ups and downs. Each twist and turn is designed to stretch us and take us to a higher place — a better version of ourselves. Sometimes, it is easy for us to go with the flow. Other times are more challenging. When we resist the more challenging times, we struggle. We end up feeling angry, afraid, frustrated, sad and discouraged, which often leaves us paralyzed.

Breaking through areas of life where we are stuck requires the practice of acceptance. Acceptance does not necessarily mean “like” or “acceptable.” It simply means “receiving the facts presented.” I like to say, “the ability to look at life objectively.” When we can rise above our situation one level and look down on it from an objective point of view, we are less tied to it emotionally and much more able to see it as “the facts.” From there, we are more able to take the necessary action to move forward.

It is important for us to understand and accept the fact that life is difficult. Knowing this makes us much more prepared for life’s curve-balls. We can then see the challenging times as opportunities for growth and get excited about taking our life to the next level. We can choose to find the joy along the journey, paying close attention to what we are learning and how we have evolved.

Living Joy,
Kristen Sheehan
Motivational Coach - Mindset and Personal Empowerment

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my life is that forgiveness is not for the “other person,” forgiveness is for “us.”

Living Joy,
Kristen Sheehan
Motivational Coach - Mindset and Personal Empowerment